and HAARP activation of topical fluoride are the real villains! Chemtrails are wimps in comparison. Just try consuming high-fructose corn syrup beneath some high-voltage power lines and you'll see what I mean! And bees!
You could try gargling with a mixture of colloidal silver, apple cider vinegar and sea kelp. It won't save you, but it'll keep you busy.
I hope you weren't near any electrical current at the time. Lost my best assistant that way: Collapsed into an anti-proton singularity and time-warped back to the age of the trilobites. Damn shame too. She made a good cup of coffee.
By the way, if you happen to run into her, tell her I want my Space Pen back. You know, the one that writes upside down.